I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
