saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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