Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
