I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
