Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
