from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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