And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
