It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
