I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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