oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
