Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
