I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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