Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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