hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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