You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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