Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
