Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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