Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
In America we eat man semen.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
