Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
