watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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