Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you would pick up someone in the library
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he fucked my hip out of place.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
