In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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