WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
