Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
