Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize