Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
