smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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