Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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