I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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