He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
