a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
