Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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