I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
