WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
