Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
