Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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