So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
