i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i think my mom watched the whole time
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
