that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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