He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
