Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
