White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize