I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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