i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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