No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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