I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
