I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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