nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
