do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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