I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
