So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
