let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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